We could safely say that for a while now, society has
challenged the traditional gender roles of the ‘Man’ venturing out of the house
to earn the bread and better and the ‘Woman’ staying behind to cook, clean and
look after the children. The extent, of course, varies and one would expect
very different scenes in a thatched roof hut in a village in UP than in a
swanky twentieth floor apartment at Cuffe Parade, but there is no doubt that
the lines are blurring.
More and more women are pursuing ambitious careers. They are
getting out of homes, getting themselves an education, getting jobs and
matching steps with their male counterparts as they too get home the bread and
butter. Well, more bread and better, but more is always good. And this is
great, but there is something I think we must pause to think about. How many
men do I see staying home, taking care of children or cooking daily meals?
Oh yes, that must sound like a preposterous question. Why
would I ever expect that to happen? Rather, why should I expect something like
that to happen?
I think we have two concerns to address. Firstly, the
direction in which we are moving is a dangerous one. It leads to a future,
where both husband and wife go out to work, the maid cleans the house, the cook
prepares the dinner, and there is probably a hired help to teach the kid to
cycle. This is a house, but not a home and would spells the end of ‘the family
and home’ as we know it.
Secondly, in our bid to create equality we have developed a
notion that certain tasks are inferior to others. Or, we could also say that
the notion that certain tasks are inferior to others is what fuelled the need
for a feminist movement in the first place, but what is certain is that we are
giving out a message, that as a society, and I include both and men and women
here, we seem to believe that the traditional male roles are better than the
traditional female roles. If I were to ask the question – do you think the ‘male
roles’ are more important than the ‘female roles’, the almost unanimous answer
I’d expect to get is a very forceful ‘No’, but that is clearly not what we
truly believe when the entire flux that is created due to this greater fluidity
between gender roles is uni-directional. Women are vying for opportunities that
were earlier restricted to men, but the reverse isn’t happening. Few men, if at
all, would rue the fact that they can’t cook as well as the women around or
wouldn’t know how to take care of their infant child.
I am not saying here, that men should stop working and stay
home to take care of children, but we must recognise the fact that the roles
men and women play may be different but are equally important, and we can’t do
without either. True gender equality does not lie in women doing everything men
can, it lies in men and women being respected equally for who they are.