Arti stood by the window, sipping her evening coffee. Her
mind was made up. It made sense. Aditya was the only reason she was there. And
now that he was leaving, there were no more reasons for her to stay back.
She had been thinking about this for a while now. It had
been on her mind, now and again, since it had become clear that Aditya would not
be living at home now; certainly not for the next few years and probably not
for many more to come. He had recently secured admission into the National Law
School, at Bangalore. His dream of many years had come true and so had theirs.
She was so proud of him, her only son. It had made everything seem worth the
while.
She had already told Avinash of her decision. He had, expectedly,
not said much. There had been no shouting, no exasperated arguments, and no unwiped
tears. It was funny, in a way, that they had not argued about this when they
could and they did about almost everything else.
Now, it only remained for her to tell Aditya. He was leaving
next week. She wanted him to know before he left. She didn’t know how he would
take it. She didn’t want to lose him. The mere thought scared her. But she knew
she would have to tell him some day. Some day soon.
......
“Adi, just wait for a while will you? we want to talk to
you”, Arti called out from the kitchen, where she was clearing the plates after
dinner. Avinash was waiting on the couch in the drawing room.
“Sure Ma” replied Aditya, wondering what his mother had to say.
But then, he had been subjected to a lot of talks these days, with him leaving
for a new city and a brand new chapter called college in a couple of days and
all. He guessed it would be something along those lines again, and picked up
the newspaper before him as he plonked on the couch.
So when Arti came, and taking a seat on the couch, said,
“Your Dad and I have decided not to live together any more Adi. I am going to
move out” just like that, without any preamble. He simply stared, as if his
mind could not grasp the meaning of the words he had just heard. The next
moment he was seized with a sea of emotions, which he couldn’t completely
comprehend, but he couldn’t be in that room any more. It was suffocating. He
needed some fresh air. He stormed out of the room before his parents could say
anything further, even as Arti and Avinash looked on, somewhat stunned. This
was very unlike their Aditya. He had never reacted like this before, but then,
he had never before been faced with something so deeply shocking either. He
would need some space and time, they realized.
....
He had stormed out of the house and started walking along
the footpath without much thought to the destination. His mother’s words kept
replaying in his head. He couldn’t and probably didn’t want to think of what
they meant and implied. He just felt really angry and let down. His entire world
seemed to have come crashing down in a moment, and why his parents would do
this to him was beyond him. He had done nothing to deserve this. Life wasn’t
fair he thought. It never had been to him. He kept walking, completely
oblivious to the busy streets he was pacing down. His thoughts were far away. A
place that had been hidden away in the corners of his mind, a place he had not
visited for long. They had never been a happy family. As a child he had often
wondered why his home couldn’t be like everyone else’s. Why did there have to
be those acrimonious fights, constant bickering and prolonged arguments. He had
never said it aloud, but somewhere down he had held it against his parents, the
fact that he had felt robbed of the simple pleasure of a hassle-free, peaceful
home. It’s not like there were no happy memories. There were loads actually,
but they all came with the inevitable insecurity of not knowing what the next
moment would bring. They had been on several trips, they all loved travelling.
These trips made for some of his most fond memories but even the best of them
were scarred by some squabble or the other. The trip to Kanha was still clearly
etched in his memory, when his mother had left half way into the trip after a
huge showdown with father. Or for that matter the trip to Goa, when his father
had just walked out of the hotel room late at night following a dispute, and it
had been a tensed couple of hours before he returned. There were so many such
instances that gradually even the happier times had become plagued with the invariable
uncertainty.
But even this, he had gradually learnt to accept, but to not
have a family at all, he felt cheated.
.....
It wasn’t that Arti was not taken aback by Aditya’s
reaction, but she understood that he would need time. And she would have to give
it to him, she thought, as she let herself recline onto the armchair in the
drawing room. It had been two hours since he had walked out of the room,
without a word. He had not even waited long enough to let her explain her
decision. She couldn’t get herself to sleep. She had eventually come out,
giving up trying to sleep and settled in the drawing room. She shut her eyes,
as her mind went down the lane it had taken more than a few times in the last
twenty years. It had been a rather rough twenty years. Avinash and she just
didn’t get along and probably they never would. But they had both decided that Adi
would get nothing but the best; there would be no compromises there. That was
probably the sole reason they had been struggling to make it work for so many
years. After twenty years of marriage it had, so to say, become of way life,
but that didn’t make it any easier, especially, knowing that things would
probably never change. But, she was tired now. She was weary of the inevitable
differences and the petty fights. Besides,
for so long she had never regretted it, because she owed it to Adi. But now,
she somehow felt she owed something to herself.
.....
He didn’t know how long he had been walking aimlessly before
he stopped to figure where he had reached. It must have been at least a couple
of hours. It was probably midnight. The streets were deserted. He suddenly felt very weak, completely
drained out and just sat down on the bench on the footpath letting his head
sink into his arms and tears trickle down his cheeks.
He didn’t realize when he drifted into sleep, sitting as he
was, on the bench. He woke up to the
sound of the broom of a solitary sweeper brushing against the empty streets. It
was barely dawn. It was still rather dark. He could hear the distant sound of a
train. A flock of birds was flying across the morning sky. He kept gazing at
the birds flying out of the safe comfort of their nests into the clear, wide
skies, and held by the sight, in that
moment, somehow it all came to him. It was right. His parents were right. He
had already started his long walk back home.
.....
Arti was in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready for the
day. She opened the cabinet to fetch the pan and set it on the fryer only to go
back to the cabinet looking for the pan a minute later. Adi had come back sometime in the early hours
of the morning and quietly slipped into his room. He hadn’t come out yet. Her
thoughts were on him. He hadn’t spoken a word since she broke the news to him. She
was engrossed in thinking of what might be on his mind, when the microwave
beeped. As she got to it and absentmindedly reached for the bowl with her bare
hands, the steaming hot edges burned her fingers. She paused for a moment. Her
mind wasn’t here. She went out, feeling worn out, and sunk on the couch, wondering
for probably the first time since she had come to the decision if she was
wrong. Almost everyone, including her own mother had said she was foolish and
silly to think of starting life anew now, but she remained resolute. But now,
unsure of what her son had on his mind, was anxious. She just sat back shutting
her eyes.
“What’s for breakfast, Mom? I thought I was getting my
favourite pancakes today” Aditya called out as he walked into the drawing room,
and going over to the couch bent down to give his mother a hug.
....
It was time to fly out
of the nest. For him. And for her.
